Words Can't Explain

I must apologize for the delay in the posting of the next installment, as you will understand more once you read. I left you off last weekend, where I went to SGeL on Saturday (a week from yesterday) to have a celebratory gameday glass of wine, lunch and caught up on a bit of reading in an obscure cafe I stumbled on. Saturday was certainly hard because I was hoping to catch some of the game online, but LSU, who has sucked enough out of myself and my parents monetarily, is charging $8.99 for a months subscription to watch via computer. I also heard that the pregame show on Eagle was 7 hours long, I know Jim Hawthorne is long-winded, but can anyone handle listening to that for hours upon hours? Sunday, while most were sleeping I made two trips to Paris to fix a computer problem, that of course, ended up fixing itself, still causing mass anxiety on my part and two calls to dad, one at 6a.m. and the other at 8a.m. - after a late game against Washington, I proceeded to still wake them up on the second call. About 99 Euros and a trip back to my house from the Champs-Elysee, later I was grateful to find I could return the stupid piece of equipment I bought, because, no, I did not blow the fuse on my computers A/C Adapter.



So after that, Monday was pretty calm but Tuesday and Wednesday are where it gets a bit hairy. On Tuesday, The Boss goes to French school, while The Tornado goes to English school, Michele, who was off of work would bring Ines in the morning, giving me a little time off and then I'd get The Tornado dressed for his class at 9a.m. Little did I know, that bringing The Tornado to school would entail DRIVING Bertrand, Michele, Eliott and Marine! I was in the driver's seat of their car with the entire family, sans Ines - what a liability for a naive 22 year old from Louisiana. I had to do it and prayed that poor Ines would still have a family when she got home from French school. So what if I am driving at 90 km/h with an entire family, when we are already 5 minutes behind schedule, I can handle it, right?! I also had the task of mastering the European round-a-bout, thing Homer Simpson driving in Paris around l'Arc de Triomphe. Well, I made it and we got The Tornado to class with only moments to spare. As we walked into English school, I was overcome by the British and American accents and actually being able to comprehend what was being said, quite a nice feeling. The teachers were very nice and I'll be talking with them a lot over the next year about how to work on English with the kids at home.

Tuesday ended well and I spent the rest of the day gearing up for Wednesday, which is a crazy schedule. Here's my day as graciously planned by Michele:
7h45 - Get just The Boss dressed and up for breakfast
8h - Karima arrives to take care of The Mouth and sleeping Tornado
8h45 - Drive The Boss to English school for class at 9h and return to house
9h30 - Prepare The Tornado for English school
11h - Drive to English school for class at 11h15 (stay near school)
12h - Get The Boss from school and return to house, make lunch
13h15 - Pick up The Tornado at English school
13h30 - Fix lunch for The Tornado - play in rooms
17h - Work with each kid on English for 30 minutes
18h - Bath time and begin preparing dinner
17h30 - Michele returns

...Not too bad, right?! WRONG! Poor Karmina, who is pregnant went to the hospital Tuesday night and didn't make it to work Wednesday morning, so Bertrand and I were waiting on her, when 8:45 passed and we immediately had to load all the kids in the car to bring The Boss. So, I dressed The Tornado and Mouth, jumped into the driver's seat (again) with the whole family, this time I had to make it for Michele's sake and get everyone there safely. Since it was the first day for The Boss, we had to go in the class and listen to a brief orientation with the entire crew in tow. After orientation, I had to bring Bertrand to the RER so he could get to work at this time it was about 9:45. After successfully navigating my way to the RER in SGeL (which is about 20 minutes away from English school), I had to figure out the city center and it's one way streets to get back to the house and get The Tornado ready. By this time, The Mouth was comatose in her car seat from all the back and forth of the morning. Okay...so the car has navigation, easy, I'll just put in the address and follow the directions to the house. I choose my destination and follow orders from the French GPS, when suddenly I miss a turn to get to Mareil-Marly and end up on the FRENCH INTERSTATE...sheer panic. I have two kids in the backseat and am trying to turn around, I am on the interstate and finally after reaching 110km/h find a way to turn back the other way. However, turning around means pulling into some obscure drive way with a huge sign saying 'No Entrance'. In an act of defiance and desperation, I pull the vehicle in and The Tornado starts asking questions about what the heck I am doing and if I know where I am going - not now kid, please. I end up BACKING OUT onto the interstate on ramp from the driveway, my life flashing before my eyes. A few quick maneuvers later, I am back on the interstate heading the right way (I think) and changing over 4 lanes of traffic to get off on the right exit. However,questioning from The Tornado subsides and I make it after the GPS redirects itself and I am finally home - I missed one more turn along the way, but compared to my last mistake, that was and easy error to correct.

As we pull in, The Mouth starts screaming. Go figure, she is hungry. So by this time and because of my driving blunders it is about 10:30. I now have 30 minutes to get Eliott ready, Marine fed and collect my thoughts and ready myself. All things are a go until I go to put Marine back in her carseat and I can't get it to buckle. The minutes are ticking by and Michele showed me how to do it, it is much more complicated than any other car seat I have ever seen and I am just freaking out regardless. After about 5 minutes of wasted effort, I switch to her other carseat in the house and tell The Tornado to get his bookbag. I replace the carseat and yell at Eliott to come downstairs. It is now 11:00, when I am supposed to be leaving and the book bag is nowhere to be found. Frantically, searching and pleading in French and English I try to jog The Tornado's memory on the bags whereabouts, another wasted effort. Finally, I see the bag on the homework table, where it should have been in the first place. I throw all of his stuff in the bag and depart (again) for the school. We arrive right when class starts at 11h15 and I drop him off, huffing and puffing away from running with the 11 month old in my arms to the classroom. One of the mothers looked at me and said "Oh my gosh, you have all of the kids today? You must be running around like crazy." Thanks, lady.

So Marine and I wait around the village of St. Nom-la-Breche for The Boss to get out of class at 12:00. I parked near a bakery, fought with the collapsed stroller for about 7 minutes and we were finally off. I picked up a baguette and decompressed for a bit outside of The Boss's building, which is right down the street from Eliott's. Michele gave me money to buy myself and The Boss something to eat in the town, so we didn't have to go back to the house and turn around again, but The Boss wasn't having that and we went home. I warmed up some of the quiche from the day before, fed The Mouth again and loaded them BOTH back up into the car to pick up The Tornado. The car, is a Toyota Corolla, European style, in that it has a lot of room in the back, similar to a hatch-back. Thank goodness it is automatic, but still drives and changes gears like a standard. Bertrand also told me you have to use the parking break every time you park and put it in neutral. I made a mental note to do both. As we approach the school, we are a bit early, because I read my schedule wrong. We have about 15 minutes to kill, but I park and get out of the car to unload the troops. Next thing I know, the car is ROLLING FORWARD with BOTH kids inside. "Expletive! The parking break." Ines is freaking out while Marine just yells. After about lurching a foot forward, the Corolla knocks the wooden gate barrier and comes to a rolling stop. No damage done, but I can't believe that just happened and played it off like it was no big deal - the car wouldn't have made it far. Ines was shaken up on the play, but recovered when I told her she could go play on the playground until it was time to get Eliott. All I could think was my life was mirroring a National Lampoon's movie...am I Chevy Chase, it sure seems like it.

We finally pick Eliott up and make it home, where he eats raspberries for lunch - easy. We then have the rest of the afternoon, where I put The Mouth down for a nap and make the kids play in their room (which WAS part of the schedule). I decided to sit in my room and reflect on the day, avoiding writing this blog post, because it was just too much to relive so soon. It's taken me a few days to recoop after Wednesday, but I was quite proud of myself, because somehow I managed to get everyone everywhere ontime, no injuries (save The Boss' traumatic experience with the parking break) and fed. I had "mastered" driving on the French interstate and even had dinner on the table that night...what a day. Don't worry plenty has happened to report on since Wednesday, but again, it's just a little too fresh to rehash right now. All-in-all, I think I called my mom Wednesday afternoon apologizing for ever being a pain or complaining about the minor details as a child...toting kids around, now that's just hard work. However, I couldn't ask for a better family and kids to work for, because they are very patient with me and all of my blunders and broken French. The kids are great and I'll be sure to include pictures of them soon. The other night would have been the perfect opportunity, as The Tornado was dressed as Tigger and The Boss, a fairy, so we'll have to do that again and I'll snap a few photos of these demi-celebrities.