Mere pour la jour

As many of you are coming out of your college football comas, I finished up a new entry. As there is no proper football here, I will have plenty of time to write on Saturdays as I constantly check LSUsports.net for updates on the game. Yesterday was excruciating as every status on Facebook was a constant reminder that I will not be a part of college football this fall, ZUT ALORS!

Well, I made it, four Croque Monsiuers, one cucumber salade, two baguettes and lots of sauteed potatoes later. Friday was the first day I was in charge of the kids before and after school, until Michele got home at 7:30 and I am pretty sure my head was going to implode. I forget how noisy kids are, not that I would expect anything different, it's just usually the American way to turn on the television and expect a simmering of activity. Alas, there is no television to distract the children and they continue to torment the furniture and each other with every passing minute.

I set my alarm Thursday night for 6:45, as I was instructed to get the kids up for 7:15, breakfast by 7:30 and then out the door by 8:15. However, early in the morning, I shot out of bed because I heard noises downstairs (everyone else sleeps upstairs) freaking out because I was late for my first official day of duty. Tangent Alert: It's also impossible to tell what time in the morning it is because all the natural light runs into my room through a glass door and at night on the outside of all the windows downstairs a metal "shield" comes down that I am sure not even the smallest ray of light can pass through. It's my mom's worst nightmare incarnate, me with blackout curtains times a million. Trust me, it can be noon outside, but if I lower the "sheild" I can't see my hand infront of my face. Back to the orginial story, so I jump out of bed, throw acceptable clothing on, just so I don't look like a total slob and grab my French cell phone to see how late I am...RATS! it's only 5 a.m. The noise I heard was Betrand leaving to catch his flight to Germany for work. Crisis averterd, but I felt so terrible I could not fall asleep, but found a few people on Gmail Chat (which I have taken up permanent residence on) to talk to before I went to sleep.

By the time the kids got up, it was 7:00 and because they woke up so early, Michele already had them dressed, I fixed them breakfast and they were able to play for a little while. At 8:15 with both The Boss and The Tornado ready to go, we marched up the hill to the school where I relinquished them into the hands of the teachers. After that I had the day off and immediately returned to my room/temporary cave, closed the "sheild" and it was night time again. I am sure my mom is just in disbelief that I FINALLY have some sort of blackout curtain in my own room. For those of you who have been to slumber parties at my (old) house, it was such a pain because the only thing blocking me from the morning sun, in my east facing room, was a barely there roman shade. Strategically, I am sure my mom made those custom curtain stationary so as to avoid having a zombie for a daughter, as I have been known to sleep anywhere at anytime. You name it I've probably fallen sleep there, the Chicago El-Train, Broadway musicals and a few of those American History classes junior year (consequently I received a comment on my report card, "Student sleeps in class" - mom was none too pleased).

The rest of the day was uneventful, as I just picked up a few of the things I needed in the city center and headed back to the house to get ready for the pick-up from school at 4:30. It takes about 7 minutes to walk up to the school and felt compelled to leave at 4:00, making me the first parent in line. I blame this on America, the notion of "park your suburban outside the school thirty minutes early to be first in line" doesn't really apply here. There were a few benches to sit on outside the play ground and some of the older kids were playing four square - I being the only "adult" waiting, while reading a book on the bench, felt like a creep. I could only endure about 5 minutes of creepiness and decided to walk around the town a bit, then return. Once the bell rang, I picked up Eliott, who reminded me that I forgot his snack that he usually eats while walking home...I'll NEVER forget that again.

We got back to the house and Carima, The Mouth's full time caretaker, immediately had the kids in the bathtub and scrubbed down, before I could blink. I will be pleading with her not to take maternity leave after October, who needs 5 months off for a newborn when I am sitting here like a lost puppy? It's a tragedy. For dinner I sauteed some potatoes (after googling, "how to sautee") - just because I am the daughter of Erin Meyers, DOES NOT mean I can cook like Erin Meyers - made a salad, cut up some bread amongst other things. As I was cooking, The Mouth was crying, kids were screaming, things were burning and I was attempting to multi-task and make the best of it. After about a few minutes of the screaming, crying and burning, I looked to my left and there it was, a bottle of red wine. I took a deep breath, told the kids to play upstairs, poured a small glass and the night was managable...until the dinner table, that is. The Boss and Tornado were quiety eating and I was cleaning up my own mess on the counter and I hear giggling, which is not uncommon, so it is ignored. Then more giggling, causing me to turn around and when I do The Boss and Tornado have taken off their clothes!!!!!!!!! What in the world is going on? All of a sudden I have a naked mutiny on my hands and I don't want to run after them and catch them because, well, they are naked. To use one of my dad's favorite lines from acclaimed film "Orange County" Jack Black's character offers to, "get naked and start the revolution." Let me tell you something, I have now lived this naked revolution and it ain't so great! After a bit of threatening in English, which doesn't seem to work, I make threats in French, "Vous mettez son vetements! Pas de film ce soir." I've learned that if I threaten taking away the film, I will always win the battle. So, reluctantly (on their part) clothes were put back on, order was restored and I regained control of the troops. After I put on the film, it was time to feed The Mouth.

Once you wave any sort of food in front of The Mouth, she is in a impenetrable trace, that can only be broken when the spoon that feeds her is no longer in her line of vision. So I feed her a delicious array of pureed carrots and other assorted vegetables from a jar and bring her upstairs for bed. However, there is something foul permeating the air and I know I can't smell the Vermillion Rive in France...first, a naked uprising and now a diaper sent from Hades. I gird my loins for my first diaper change with The Mouth and it is far worse than I even imagined. Instantly, my gag reflex sets in and I thought I was going to lose it, she starts to wail. After a quick gasp for fresh air, I go in and try to remedy the situation, which was similar to holding your breath in the Mobile Tunnel, but you start to worry when you see spots. Marine is upset with the amount of time I am taking to do such a seemingly simple task and lets me know by waving her hands in the air. As one of my hands is holding her legs and the other is performing clean-up, somehow her hand comes down with a crash....into the diaper. Once again, gag reflex, but now I have a 10 months old with poop on her hand, at this point I needed another hand. I let go of the wipe to grab the her arm. Suddenly, the door downstairs closes and Michele is home and I have one of her kids with poop on them. I have never worked so fast in my life, and just as she walked up the stairs, the baby was poop-free with the beginnings of a clean diaper. Michele entered the room, smelled/saw the dirty diaper and instantly threw it out the second story window, where it landed with a 'THUD" on the ground below. "Ca c'est mal!" Yes, Michele that was bad, you have no idea!